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More on Teaching
Almost two years ago I was scared to death of coming to this school. Now, I am gaining wonderful experience, meeting outstanding kids that would have slipped through the cracks had they not come to Huss, and I am a year and a half away from gaining my secondary teacher certification. I was thrown into this position with no guidance, hardly any books or materials, and no experience! Subbing is "NOT" like the real thing. You have more patience and no "homework" with subbing. Having your own classroom is a different story.
The kids I teach all have a story, and unfortunately, most of the stories do not have happy endings. I have kids having kids, kids on drugs, kids that have been beaten, kids raising themselves because their parents don't give a damn, and the list goes on and on. These are "children" who get lost in the traditional classroom setting of around 30 students. They need one-on-one attention, emotionally and educationally. They have a hard outside, but a bigger heart on the inside than most kids at a traditional high school. They frustrate me to no end! Sometimes you just have to scream at them to get it through their heads that you care about them, and you want them to do well. For many of them, no one has ever told them that before, so it's hard for them to comprehend sometimes. We also get kids without the background, that just don't fit in the crowds at the high school, and want an "alternative" education.
A Poem For You Huss
A hard exterior and a mean first impression
When in reality
Inside is a scared child
Who has been neglected
Or abused
A child born with an addiction
Or unloved
Who wants to be loved
And give love
But doesn’t know how
And no one has ever shown him/her
The meaning of love
A child who has never trusted anyone
And acts as though they don’t want to
A soft exterior I have found
But the mean first impression remains
Just as a front for this child
Who’s scared to trust
But has opened one door…
To me…
And I have to try and make the difference
Or no one else will
Things will dramatically change
Or they will remain forever the same
We will try and show them what it means to be loved
And cared for
For if we won’t
Who will?
When I teach I try to give my students options that they may not have somewhere else. When we write in my classroom, I let them choose the topic. I set the standards that they must follow, but they can ultimately write on anything they choose. Sometimes they are scared of this, but once I throw some ideas out, they usually don't have a problem. Some students write down their deepest secrets in their writings, things that they would otherwise have to keep inside themselves. I hope by doing this that they can find writing enjoyable and therapeutic, which in turn makes them want to write, which in turn improves their writing overall.
When we read in my class, I sometimes let students choose the stories
also. We do a combination of silent and oral reading. When we read
out loud, I usually run the story by my students before we read it. I look
for reaction. Reading should be fun; it shouldn't be a chore to come to my
class. My classes really enjoy reading plays and mysteries. We have
also read about the Loch Ness Monster and Unidentified Flying Objects.
When students do silent reading, they can pick out a short story, but I have to
approve it first. This system seems to be working so far. In the
next few years, when I order more books, I think the class will be very
successful. As I write this, I have just started testing students for
their end-of-the-year reading level. So far, each one of the students I
have tested, has improved his/her reading level by at least one grade from the
beginning of the year! I guess I must be doing something right!
People ask me a lot how long I am going to stay there.
I'm not sure if I will stay there when I am done with certification, or if I
will try to move on. I have run into more situations in the past two
years, than many teachers run into in their whole career. I have been
threatened and been called any name you can think of. And it's not because
of the school I am in. Everyone that is reading this will probably run
into that in their career. It's not to scare anyone, but to make you
realize that we all have to try to make a difference to these kids. The
kid that calls me a "bitch" today may really need me for something tomorrow. Helping kids is my job;
that's what I chose to do the day I enrolled back in college.
I'm sure there are many things that I have not experienced
yet, and the positive experiences for me definitely outweigh the negative.
I have one girl who made a sign for me that said "I love you", I have
a girl that told me (through writing) that she's a lesbian, I have received
notes saying "thank you for putting up with me". These are all kids
that without this school, may not have made it through. They would be
potential drop-outs. This is enough incentive for me to continue where I
am at, and to try and give these kids a great future.